


You're Practically My Brother

by rebelmeg



Series: Rebelmeg's Tony Stark Bingo Fills 2019 [15]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Sharon Carter (Marvel), Fluff and Crack, Gen, Raised by their adored Aunt Peggy, Sharon and Tony are like cousins or siblings, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony has no self-preservation skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 12:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17725220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Tony needs a fake date for an event, so he tries to talk his sister-from-another-mister into it.My first fill for round two of the Tony Stark Bingo!  Square filled: S1 - pretend couple





	You're Practically My Brother

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I know, I told you the Valentine's Day fic was next, but this popped into my head and spewed itself out a few days ago, and I REALLY want my TSB participation badge, SO HAVE SOME TONY AND SHARON SHENANIGANS WHILE WE WAIT.
> 
> All my thanks and adoration to my betas [LadyMaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMaya) and [Cinnamon_Anemone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamon_Anemone)!

“Tony, no. I will not pretend to be your girlfriend, that is so gross in so many ways, you’re practically my brother.” 

Tony was dogging Sharon’s footsteps as she went through to his kitchen, looking for her purse. She had ditched it when she got there for her traditional first Tuesday of the month lunch with her favorite non-relative. 

“That’s why it’s _pretend_ , Share-Bear. There will not even be any kissing involved, you just gotta look pretty and let me put my arm around you for pictures.”

“No, Tony. And I’m thirty years old, at which point are you gonna stop calling me that?”

“Absolutely never.”

Sharon rolled her eyes and turned around to leave, which was Tony’s signal to escalate to begging.

He threw himself down on the couch dramatically, heedless of wrinkling his expensive suit, his head hanging upside down off the arm. “Come on, please! I can’t go alone, and people don’t even know we’re related.”

She glanced at him briefly as she checked her phone. “Probably because technically we’re not.”

“Oh em gee, Sharon Carter, how dare you. Aunt Peggy is my life blood.”

She couldn’t help it, she giggled, and Tony’s upside-down face grinned in triumph. 

“Come oooooon. It’ll be fun! I taught you how to dance when you were twelve, now you’ll be able to show it off in front of the ravenous press!”

“I should probably tell you, I never did really grasp the foxtrot.”

Tony rolled over and managed not to fall off the couch, pulling himself up and draping across the back of the couch instead, goateed chin on his hands. “That’s okay! I don’t even like the foxtrot! We’ll tango though, you know you love a good tango.”

“You gonna have a rose between your teeth like you did when I was twelve?”

“If it’ll get you to say yes, I’ll hold whatever you want between my teeth.”

Sharon rolled her eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Ugh. Fine. Fine. But you will owe me for this, Tony. Like… really big owing.”

“I’ll buy you something nice, I swear.”

“Not the kind of owing I mean. This is day camp levels of owing.”

Tony gaped at her. “That’s playing dirty! I was _miserable_ that summer, Sharon, don’t do that to me again!”

She just shrugged as she shouldered her purse. “Hey, you want me to be your fake date, you gotta put up with some misery.”

“I got poison ivy _and_ poison oak. _At the same time_.”

“If you hadn’t been off in the woods having sex with one of the other camp counselors, you wouldn’t have had that problem.”

“That is beside the point.”

“That is _entirely_ the point.”

Tony groaned and flopped facedown on the couch this time, his inner child clearly in charge of his body. “What kind of misery do you have cooked up in that little blonde head of yours this time?”

Sharon had to hide a grin at his theatrics. “I dunno. I’ll think about it.”

Tony rolled off the couch and bounced to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets as he pouted. “Oh, lord have mercy, you’re gonna make me do something awful. Can’t I just build you a nice AI or something? Buy you some shoes? Purchase a private island?”

“Not this time, Tony.” Sharon reached up to kiss his cheek. “Send me the details and some money for a dress, I don’t have anything fancy.”

Tony grumped and scowled some more. “Fine. You’re mean.”

“I love you too.” She was at the door when something occurred to her, and she looked back over at him with her eyes narrowed. “Why do you need a date for this anyway? You’ve gone stag to stuff before, and you have no problems getting all manner of women to hang off your arm.”

He shrugged as he headed for the coffee pot. “Oh, Happy’s all worried because I got another death threat, and you’re the most badass, gun-carrying woman I know, so I figure between the three of us it’ll be fine.”

For all of ten seconds, there was absolute silence.

“ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME—”

* * *

Sharon did go with him. But not as his date.


End file.
